Quote:
Originally Posted by sunrise
But I think he may have made the wrong choice, and it is hard to accept because I have felt so close to him and I don't like that he made the choice to lie when we are so close. It's as if he thought our relationship could not tolerate the truth, and that hurts. It's as if T is saying, "sunrise, our bond isn't as strong as you think." ...
it does hurt my sensibilities to even name what he did a "mistake" because without knowing his perspective, I feel like I'm being unfairly judgmental. I don't know what he was thinking. I guess he deserves to be heard so that I don't perhaps erroneously think ill of him.
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((((((((((((Sunny)))))))))))))
I think what you said at the beginning of this quote would be a good and honest way to bring it up and tell him what you're feeling. You sound very clear about how YOU are affected by what he said.
You said (above) that without knowing his perspective, you feel like you're being unfairly judgemental. The only way to know his perspective is to bring it up, and give him a chance to tell you.
Like you, it is easy for me to forgive people. And if you and T can talk about this openly and honestly, I don't think there is anything "wrong" with forgiving him. But like Dr. M. said, if you don't bring it up, you're not giving either of you the chance to get to that place.
This is really hard, and I'm sorry it's happening
