hi sorry to hear that your having a hard time. 23 years is a long time, its like my age! Have you got anyone to talk to about it. Your brother or sister or parents. Or a therapist? Are you in therapy or counselling? This could help. Do you have children maybe you could go to watch a movie. Or get your nails done. Doing something with your kids will show them your love and take your mind off things for a while. Its great that you still love your husband. It must make it incredibly hard though.