well, this is my first time writing here. I have been looking for a forum mature enough and I guess I found it. Today I am very anxious. I have done many changes in order to deal with my depression and anxieties but it is not easy. I have changes my diet (more vegetables, salads, less sugar and carbohidrates); elliptical 30 minutes every morning, and some other modifications). I cannot seem to get out of the house or do things I like to do (photography, crafts, dancing). I am trying to understand how it is that I became so afraid to make decisions or going out of the house when until 2 years ago I was an executive and very active person. Now I cannot even hold a volunteer position at a public library. Now I receive disability and I am only 44 years old; I take my medication (no more medications as I used to take), I see my therapist at home every 2 weeks. I still keep looking for ways to have a new perspective, new vision, hope and peace in my heart. Three days ago I lost 2 little kittens I was fostering...that hit me hard (although I understand kittens are very delicate and might die), but the first thing in my mind was, "What did I did wrong?" I know there will be a day I will find a way to get better; I will never rest until I find a way. I hope there is a group formed of people suffering from anxiety disorders and take a trip to the mountains and talk, and enjoy life. Thank you for reading my reply. God Bless you all