Hi maymie, read your post and read what your mom said and did to you. When she called you those names...that is called verbal and emotional abuse. No one deserves to to be treated like that. It only serves to be distructive in your quest to become independent. It could also harm your self esteem if you internalise her words and actually start believing her toxic words it can actually cause a slide backwards in your progress. Perhaps you can set up some boundries aroud her to keep yourself emotionally safe. If you are new to these concepts, what i suggested to you would probably take some time, a process in other words. You may want to do research to find out what verbal and emotional abuse is and the negativity it causes. As for learning about healthy boundries, you might want to get some counseling. If you cannot afford counseling, you may want to check out your local library, there are some really good books out there on verbal and emotional abuse and setting boundries. I am an adult survivor of abuse. I have been through this and learned. It has taken me a while to learn this stuff and apply it in my own life. I learned that for my own mental health to never be alone with just me and my mom because that was when the verbal and emotional abuse occured. This is not an accident. Had other people been there, she would not have said those things without making her the bad guy. i hope that what i have said helps. I wish you the best. Keep us posted and let us know how you are doing.