I am so sorry to hear this, Judee. Your collective sense of loss must be huge. it sounds like this man meant so much to so many of you.

Grief strikes everyone differently, and numbness is a typical part of the process. I know the people I have supported through grief have all reacted differently, and I have never thought that one type of reaction was 'more normal' than another. The loss of someone close to us throws us so far off base that I think any sense of 'normal' goes out the window. What is, is. However a grieving person is, is exactly how that grieving person needs to be.

This news is so new for you, and there are many stages of grieving that you have yet to cycle through. And they WILL come. In days, or weeks or years - who knows? But I hope you can trust in your own process and know that whatever you feel right now is simply how you NEED to feel (or not feel) in this moment.

Just please remember that with grief there is no 'normal'. There is only a human being in deep emotional pain, and the range of ways that pain is expressed (or not expressed) is unique to every one of us. The people who can offer you support in your life may not understand about DID, but they can probably empathise with grief. I hope you can feel safe enough to share your shock and struggle with someone close to you.
Take care.