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Originally Posted by Onzichtbaar
honesty is one of the basic premises in therapy - in my view it is even more fundamental than in other types of relationships. I have a good friend who I know sometimes lies and spices up the truth. It would be nicer if he didn't feel the need to impress me in this way but I accept this aspect of him and it doesn't prevent us from being good friends. I would't think of confronting him on it - I just accept this is part of him. With my therapist it is different.
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I believe this too.
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My impression, Sunrise, is that you have a very close and trusting relationship with your therapist. Even at the risk of causing a rupture, surely it is the right thing to be honest about your feelings on this, however difficult it may be to confront your therapist.
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I think it's a main issue of mine--trying to avoid conflict at all costs. It almost feels like a physical prohibition at times. I understand cognitively that it would be good to bring this up in therapy, but I'm not sure if my body will do it. If just kind of gets frozen and my heels dig in. Embarrassingly pathological.
But maybe this time I'll do better.
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I also think you should try to hold this in context with the many wonderful things your therapist does - his assets and skill.
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Yes, I would not "fire him as a therapist" over this. (LOL, that's a little joke as he told me once he was not going to fire me as a client when we were having a disagreement.) I am not the sort to get mad and quit the therapy relationship over something like this (I am not an all or nothing person). The danger instead is that I will be too accommodating, forgiving, etc., and never bring this up. I will focus on all his good traits and "forget" this happened.