All I want to do now is close up and SI. I am finding it hard to express myself on the forums and areas I normally visit. I have been feeling very alone recently. My father is in the hospital and my mother is with him. My SI urges are going up, but I am fighting them because I seeing my pdoc tomorrow. I really do not want to tell him I SI yesterday. I already will need to tell him I SI on Saturday. I need to show some control here. All I want to do though is SI and see no one.