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Originally Posted by bloom3
i know i can't fire her or send her to siberia which i'd love to do, lol. what do i do to get her to be quiet and stop harassing me?
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Maybe she is acting like this because of your rejecting feelings toward her. It's hard to feel unwanted and like your "other self" wants to get rid of you.
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i think i have a ton of people pleasing behavior because she is trying to protect me from being shamed. i'm not sure yet what to do with that. she puts so much pressure on me though that it paralyzes me.
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trying to understand--She puts pressure on you to be perfect, because if you are perfect you will not be shamed?
I would suggest talking to her in a welcoming and grateful way. Thank her for having protected you all these years. Tell her that now you don't need quite so much protection, that you are getting better and taking more risks. But also tell her you still need her, but to help with other things. And suggest something to her that you could really use help on. She sounds like a strong-minded part of you--give her a tough task. I think "protector" ego states really like to feel needed. If your need for their protection is ended, it can be scary to them. Will they cease to exist if their protection is no longer needed? Scary prospect. Give her something to do that is helpful to you.
