for the first time over a month. it was miserable. it brought everything back to me...the hurt, anger, etc. it certainly wasn't as bad, but yuck.

my daughter and husband have been the go-betweens for the baby since we've not been talking. however, daughter got a job on tues. and the mother called yesterday to get the baby. when i answered (because i won't answer the phone either), she almost didn't speak. she said, "um, yeah. i was calling about the baby. i'm expecting him at about 11:00." i said, "i'll wake jessie up and he'll be there." she said, "alright then." click.

then, last evening, daughter and hubby were both at work and she called to drop him off. i answered. she said, "we're on our way." i said, "ok." click.

when she dropped him off, she was talking to him as i was taking him from his carseat. it was awkward. i asked her a question just to keep it cordial about whether or not the baby had eaten dinner. she turned around and faced forward and wouldn't answer. how dare i speak to her! i just said, "oh, ok." then i laughed rather hatefully.

the thing is...i really feel for her right now. she has no clue that i live in denial no longer. she has no clue that each cruelty stays with me now. she has no clue that she's cementing the death of the relationship.

i have to say it hurts to watch her cruelties with the blinders off. however, it reaffirms that i'm so doing the right thing for me and mine.

i just wanted to put this here. ty for listening.