Well I made it though day 2, and my brain feels like it's going to explode due to massive information processing. Yesterday I got all hyped up when I left, and decided to play rockband 2 for 2 hours when I got home, watch a DVD on meditation, then go to the store, make dinner, make rice crispy treats, and then create a "bed time routine." I got to bed by 10:00, but then woke up at 1:30, and couldn't go back to sleep for 3 hours. Needless to say, I'm sooooo tired right now. Classes were pretty intense today. We did one on focus, on on setting boundaries, and one on bullying/dealing with difficult people. It's an awful lot of information to process. Then there's the frustration that the other people in the class create by going off topic, or just rambling. The therapist that leads the classes is really good at redirecting them back to the topic, but the nurse that does some of the other classes doesn't do that as well. Which makes me want to bang my head on the table, until they stop freaking talking. Personally, I think there should be different levels of classes based on IQ, but who am I to decide that...ha. I just get irritated by people who never understand anything that's told to them, and then they complain about it. Then there's the people who want to preach to you.....and I'm an atheist.

Also, I was really annoyed by my pdoc today because I told her about all the things I did yesterday, and how I was starting to learn how to meditate, and apparently she doesn't like buddhist meditation because it's passive. She wants me to do more active meditation and told me to go to lifeblissfoundation.org. She's told me to go there before, and when I did that time, I found that type to be too spiritual for me. I think she really has a problem with my lack of spirituality, which is not very rational. I've had a therapist before that had a problem with the same thing. (maybe that's a general problem living in the bible belt)

Anyways, I did come home and cry for a while because I felt too overwhelmed today, and I keep feeling guilty that i'm not at work. Not to mention I called my mom (i have no idea why) and told her about my day and how tired I was so I wasn't going to do anything tonight and go to bed early, and she told me that I should at least make dinner. I then told her I wasn't going to and she repeated herself like 3 or 4 times. All of this AFTER we had a family therapy session and the psych told her that she can NOT tell me what to do and to NOT make passive suggestions if I DO NOT ask for a suggestion. I really wish she would go to counseling, but there is nothing wrong with her (of course). I really didn't want to deal with her tonight, so I just agreed with her so she would shut up.

The doc did tell me to up my Zyprexa to 10 mg because I'm having problems sleeping, so I think I'm going to pass out now. I would like to thank everyone for their words of encouragement and I hope everyone else that is in a program now, learns as much as I have and will.