Ok, so I will give you all an update with an update. I know it's confusing. I moved to a different city, thinking and telling people because I thought I would get more help here it's bigger. Well that and to get away from situations back at home. But that one is still true. But a revelation crossed me in therapy today, I think I've known it though. I moved for the wrong reason, I was moving because I had a girlfriend here when I started thinking about it and even though we broke up before I moved, I still moved, one because I had told people I was moving, so therefore I had to move to make it look like I wasn't moving because of her. And second because I had a hope in the back of my mind I would get back together with her. So I am stuck now and really could use any comments, advice, encouragement, anything because I am completely struggling now I've moved here. I've completely went downhill further and I'm not stable, I wasn't before I moved and I'm all alone here, I only know my ex. Life, I don't get it.