I have found it helpful when my therapist suggested that instead of seeing that part of me as me, or even as my abuser, to see it as a part of me that is trying very hard to protect me by acting as the abuser. Does that make any sense? For example, I criticize myself mercilessly; instead of seeing it as self-abuse per se, I try to see how that voice--while hurtful and negative--is trying valiantly to keep me from making a mistake and being in a dangerous situation. Anyway, it was a useful approach for me!