It's nearly midnight. I went out and I was driving so I couldn't possibly take my pills when I was supposed to--too dangerous to drive. I felt it coming. Riding this hypomania out for a couple days now. I ask myself, what good do three pills do. What good? But they must be doing some good or I wouldn't be taking them, right? Oh, but they just flatten me out...I don't know what to say. I once had a pharmacist tell me I could skip my antidepressant every so often and not have to worry about it, but never ever skip the lithium. You know, stopping lithium increases your chance of suicide. But I can't sleep anyways so what good will cramming these pills down do? I keep meaning to fill my Lunesta...as soon as I can afford the 50$ copay. Just as soon and maybe I'll sleep then. I take my pills because I know mania precedes depression. I take my pills to prevent the madness from taking me away. One day, it won't be a question anymore. I'll take my pills tonight. You win.