I have been there with my Mother last year & until she died this last January. Being the close one, all I can say what helps it for others to be there to talk to & an important thing is to be there afterwards too. It seems like after my Mothers funeral & family was there along with close friends, they all disappeared after the funeral. I was having a very hard time dealing with the trauma of the identity theft & threats to me by the home care RN. I really needed someone around afterward but everyone was back to their life. It is a horrible thing to watch the cancer take the life away.....My mother didn't have Doctors that were honest with her or me....it was all what I observed & I was with her 24/7 the whole last 1 1/2 months. It is totally exhausting emotionally & physically being the only child, but it is probably the same for your friend. My Mother never admitted that she was dying of the cancer & until the point she could no longer communicate, she continued asking me when she was going to get better. She said her prayers & the prayers of the people at church would be answered & she would get better. How do you answer that except to say that her prayers would be answered not in the way she expected but she would be in a much better place than she could ever imagine. I even had to keep her boyfriend away from her because he was close to the RN that did the ID theft & threats to me & I didn't feel safe with him around. That just topped all the other feelings that come with dealing with a person that has stage 4 cancer. At the end, I had to hold her hand & tell her that it was ok to die. That is wasn't good for her to struggle so hard to keep going when this wasn't living life at all anymore. All I can suggest is be there for your friend all the way & even after because the feelings don't just end with the funeral. It is a very tough place to be in. A place I never was prepared to be in.

My prayers are with them & you for the strength to hold on through what is ahead,
Debbie