Wow! Writing the letter to dt turned out to be a powerful and insightful experience for you. That is great insight!

Why not stick with the 6 1/2 page letter and your post? It seems to cover it all and move you toward closure. I think it would all be very meaningful to talk about in therapy.

I also find I can relate to your comment about idealizing. I too have been thinking about that and I have also been thinking that I didn't always know where my mother was (searched the house, traipsed the neighborhood looking for her, only to find her and be greeted with some nasty comment about not being able to get away from me) and what a mystery she was to me...and I have been wondering if that contributes to the idealization of T.

Thank you for sharing your letter-writing experience.