Hello, and welcome!
People do crazy things when they're hurting. You were probably in a form of shock when the incident happened with your friend's husband at the dinner table, not to mention the Xanax and alcohol.
Excuses aside, however, it sounds like your best friend is trying to distance herself from you...First by telling you she cannot remain friends if you continue to be a "doormat," and Second, that her husband says she can no longer associate with you because of the dinner incident.
You have made your apologies to her and her family, and now I think you have to respect her wishes.
Seeker