Deborah, It sounds as if you are doing all you can. It may take a crisis to get him out of his safe zone and to a place where he can find help. My biggest piece of advice for you is that you don't protect him to the extent he doesn't have to find help. Do some studying on codependency and learn all you can so you do not fall into that trap. On the other hand, you may be called to help him. It's a delicate balance. I hope you have a counselor for yourself. I really feel for you.