Quote:
Originally Posted by Brightheart
It never ceases to amaze me just what one can discover through the power of the written word. If you are willing to study and explore these feelings further with ftt, there could be a lot to discover about yourself and how you've learned to cope and how you relate with others. Feelings really say a whole lot about who we are and what makes us tick, I think. sounds like good, hard work you did here with this, Blue.  |
Wow Brightheart, that is exactly how I feel. The more I think about what I wrote, the more I am realizing how revealing it really is. I am not/have not re-read it b/c I dont want to change anything there. I want it to stay as it is. I am afraid I am going to be embarrassed to read it to ftt. She doesnt know me and already I am transferring my need to have her like me and think well of me. That letter makes me look so needy, immature and confused. I can tell her that, I am in a place where I am commited to saying and doing what I have to. If Im embarrassed, I'll say so. I just want to heal who I am, and not waste time. This aint going to be easy.
I am reading an amazing book, called Between Therapist and Client, The New Relationship. Someone here recommended it, maybe it was Bloom (before she was Bloom
) or maybe not
Anyway, there is a passage there I want to copy here (I am referring to desk-t and her "neutral" blank-wall appraoch:
(It is about the neutrality of an analyst)
"Someone who says neither hello nor goodbye, who doesnt answer questions, who remains silent under severe provocation, is hardly neutral. When one feels cold and lonely with such a person, Gill says, it shouldnt be assumed that these feelings come from one's childhood. Who wouldnt feel cold and lonely in the face of that kind of treatment?"
The point is that neutrality isnt neutral at all, but says something pretty loudly to the client as well. It says that "the analytic situation produces a considerable amount of regressed transference material,....but it seems likely that this material is not revealing the clients history at all, but is actually being created by the excessively cold ambiance the analyst has created in pursuit of neutrality." It then says something about this blank-slate postion assumes the illusion that the client is naive
Well....dt's neutrality (which isnt as neutral as she might think) has brought up a lot for me. I wonder if it is all/mostly transference or just a "normal" reaction to someone cold.
I wonder how someone (whoever that might be) who doesnt have the kinds of issues I do would feel about her in therapy. What would they say? Maybe it wouldnt bother them or they would be OK with her distance. Im not sure if I am saying it in a clear way, but Im wondering if someone with very little material to transfer onto dt would be unhappy with her attitude.