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Oct 09, 2009, 04:16 PM
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Member Since: Feb 2007
Location: Florida
Posts: 1,611
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Sabrina  You are in a difficult spot. Trying to pretend to be something you are not - peaceful and without anxiety - for someone else, no matter how much you love and care about them, is not good for either of you in the long run.
If this is an ongoing problem for you, your husband should be aware of it and supportive of any actions you take to get yourself better. If he needs "peace and quiet" when he's home, perhaps he needs some help also for his stress and anxiety. Maybe counselling and/or medication for both of you would be helpful.
You can only be responsible for and take care of yourself. For your husband to expect you to take care of his stress, his anxiety or whatever, is not fair and it's not your job. You can certainly be supportive of him as much as you are able. But if it comes at great emotional or mental stress to yourself then you and your husband, as partners together, need to find other ways for both of you to cope with daily life. If his job is causing him too much stress, he needs to take responsibility for that and get help for himself. He shouldn't be putting any of that on you, especially if you aren't coping well with your own life problems. You are who you are, don't let anyone lay any guilt trips on you, or put any guilt trips on yourself. No one is perfect. Some of us are much more fragile than others. That's just who we are, make no apologies for it.
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