My Support Forums - View Single Post - what makes these credit card companies think...

eskielover · Oct 09, 2009, 06:12 PM

Debt stinks.....it's the reason I can't even get divorced on top of everything else.......but it wasn't planned just like others weren't planned.

I grew up with the value of saving up your money then pay for it with cash & never buy anything you don't have the money for. Then I met my guy who ended up being my husband......knew there was a problem at the beginning with his thinking.....he had a $500 credit card that was maxed out & he was just a student with nothing but a part time job when we got married.....his parents bailed him out for our wedding present......it took him months after graduation to get a job in computer engineering way back in 1975.......you would think he would have not used the credit card, but that was his philosophy in life....if you can make the minimum payments then no problem.

Stupid me, ended up getting caught up in his thinking.......I didn't graduate until 1978 & had my career job offer before I ever graduated.....which got me caught up even more in his thinking.....shoot, I was making so much more than my dad ever made on my first job out of college so why not???? Credit cards, nice cars, skii vacations, it took us awhile to buy a home.....in California, it was almost impossible to afford that first home with the down payments & the price of homes, but we finally got into that debt also.

I wanted to get out of the homeowners association in our first home, we put the house up for sale, but it wouldn't sell for years (housing slump again)......then we could't qualify in the first place. I took over our finances & got us completely out of debt on everything but car & house.....it felt good & I thought my husband had learned a lesson

No such luck. We got into our second home finally & I kept us out of debt. Then in 1994, my career fell apart & I couldn't force myself to go on anymore & even when I tried to find another company, there was nothing available if I could have handled the job in the first place with all the anxiety I was going through. I couldn't even handle the finances anymore & then I became suidical....hospital bills just piled up. Not only that, but my husband refused to cut back on anything....He thought for sure I was going back to work....He didn't ask me or talk to me....but he knew for sure in his mind that this was only temportary, so why bother cutting back. There were other expenses that hit too.....trying to make me better.....dog showing & horse showing......where the money came from???? (credit card I am sure). I didn't really care at the time, being suicidal & never having a good marriage in the first place, I didn't figure I would be around to care. His stupidity would be his problem. My husband didn't bother dealing with any financial aid on any of the medical bills & they just piled up. My husband continued working for awhile & then the personality problems he was having all along started getting him into trouble & he got fired.......but never stopped spending. We had 401K's saved up for retirement & those went in paying bills......there were some debt that ended up as liens on the house.....all the rest went to collection & after so many years, they have finally left us alone. Don't know if they will ever be written off or will sit there until we die.....nothing like leaving our daughter with debt & no money.

When my Mother died & I sold her house, I needed away from my husband, so I took that money & moved across the country. I needed out of that relationship more than taking my inheritance & paying off & clearing us out of debt......if I had stayed under the same roof any longer something would have snapped.

I am living on just what disability covers.....my husband is living on what his disability covers.......he managed to get one last money shot at me when me messed up the income tax on my inheritance while I was outpatient dealing with the PTSD that hit when my Mother was dying with her home care person who abused her & me......so I wasn't in a place to force my husband to take it to an accountant & make it right.......he managed to make a huge mistake that will take years of paying off the IRS......but I forced him to take his retirement from one of the companies he worked for that just covered the bill.....figured it was 1/2 mine anyway.

My lawyer told me not to get divorced because it would bring up all the debt & it would have to be taken care of in the divorce & split accordingly......so we continue to sit here in different worlds with debt in collection enough to take many lifetimes to pay off.....so it sits there. He was also always missing payments & then incuring late charges........so much for being married to a responsible husband......so much for him being married to a responsible wife who would fight for what was right.

Debt is not a choice. It feels good to not have any debt, but it doesn't feel good not to be able to finish my move (living with no furniture & most of my cloths are still in california along with my horses.......too many things to afford to finish paying for & no money to finish as I will never borrow against anything.....lucky, I don't have a house payment or truck payment.....those were all paid off.....& I am still just getting by.......how sad that the costs of everything have gone up so high that even without debt there is just enough money to live on.

I went to a political meeting & one of the politicians was saying that everyone should get off of government support...medicare.....etc....but what the guy misses is the fact that the low paying jobs don't have medical insurance coverage.....the government support does.....so even when people do take the lower paying jobs, if they pay for insurance, they have no money to live on...if they life, they have no medical for the family or themselves......this economy is really bad & sadly, with all the credit & the way spending went, I don't think then have any idea how to help this economy.......we can't make money like the government does........so the people here are really stuck.

Sadly, it was all our attitude on credit that has messed up the economy in the first place.....spending money we didn't have, just like the government.....only the little guy IS HARRASED to pay it back.....think the government should be Harrassed too, but then they would just UP OUR TAXES & we would have even less money.

Ok, I feel like I'm digging a hole here......sorry.