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lynn09 · Oct 09, 2009, 09:59 PM

I know exactly what you're talking about, Zen - mine used to just drive me nuts - like all of the audio and video tapes were playing simultaneously on an infinite loop!! This and the reading and comprehension problems are also common with ADHD/ADD, dyslexia, and other learning difficulties - some people's minds/brains are able to just kind of adapt - others, not so much.

You've already got the key to the matter - reading 20 pages at a time - had to do the very same thing myself. One technique I used to stop reliving the old traumas (I really didn't imagine future traumas that much - I think I'm basically a little meaner than you) was to break the "thread" - get my mind really absorbed in something to distract it. I tried reading novels, etc., but I would read a couple of chapters, try to sleep, and end up with a continuous loop running about what was going to happen in the rest of the book!! GAH! Oh, by the way, "they" now know that reading, learning a task, etc., gets set into the memory better if you sleep after reading or learning the task - the brain needs that time to fully process the input and store it, and makes retrieval after sleep much better.

So, I started buying collections of short stories - especially science fiction, ghost stories, and other strange and weird stories because they took me out of my present reality completely. There was really no way to even anticipate what might happen next since anything in such genres is possible. Short stories are usually about 20 pages or less. That way, I could easily complete the read, be transported to another reality - to a place where the rules of this reality are tweeked a bit or almost non-existent. I had all of the information beginning to end. This would stimulate the more positively imaginative part of my brain and created a different loop that could run without triggering negative emotional reactions in me - the "fight or flight" responses that pump adrenaline into your system and just make it even more difficult to sleep. It really didn't take long for this technique to have a very positive effect - and I continued to do this for many, many years - and still do it today when I'm really stressed and I need to break my concentration on the negative and focus it more positively. I can't guarantee that this will work for you, but it really did work for me - I actually looked forward to which new complete story I would read each night, and my mind just really did not want to run those past-trauma tapes.

The key is this - it is much easier to replace one habit with another than to just eliminate an unwanted habit. Slight of hand - smoke and mirrors - trick the mind - retrain - reprogram the mind.

Of course, I can't forget those past traumas - my brain just is not wired that way. I would have to forget my entire childhood! However, over time I was able to program a "conditioned response." Every single time one of those memory tapes just started running without me deliberately summoning the memory, I would say out loud, "NO." And I just kept saying, "NO" for years. I still do this today - not only for past childhood traumas, but for current "traumas," as well. My pets just kind of stare at me when I'm walking around the house saying, "NO!" (They probably think that they're in trouble - HA!).

Try these techniques, then modify them or develop completely new ones on your own that fit how your mind works. Hope this give you some good ideas for a starting point.