sabrina,
I do the same type of thing. When I feel all torn up inside, I don't usually reach out to my SO, I try not to burden anyone with what is going on inside also some things are just hard to express. I just wanted you to know that you are not alone. I don't know your situation, I am new here, but I try to keep busy playing pogo, cleaning, walking etc. Hope it's getting easier for you to adjust to the situation.