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Oct 10, 2009, 03:28 PM
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Member Since: Jul 2009
Location: Phoenix, AZ, USA
Posts: 2,779
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Two things come to mind. I hope I can focus long enough to write them down!!! 
First, to answer your question, YES, each person has to identify what their values and goals are and they must share some common ones to have a successful marriage or partnership. The big ones or "deal breakers" are kids, religion, money, living arrangements, work, lifestyle...I think you get the picture. There are others that you can negotiate on, like if one person wants to do something like get an advanced educational degree or something. But anything that effects you both, you need to discuss and come to an agreement on ahead of time. Your differences that you described are pretty significant.
Your boyfriend wanting to be a rockstar is interesting. What billieJ says is true about wannabe's. I have a nephew who is an amazing guitar player and singer. He also writes songs. I'm a pretty good judge of talent. I know a singer and producer named Gary Morris. He has a talent production company in Nashville. Gary owed me a favor and I called his manager and arranged for my nephew to meet him in Nashville. He drove to Nashville and met with him. The very first thing he had him do was sing. He liked his singing. But then he told him to lose weight, to get rid of his cowboy hat, write some more songs, do a demo cd and then come back. Out the door he went. When my nephew came home, he said there were two guys on every corner in Nashville as good or better than he was, singing for anyone who would listen to them.
It's a brutal business. He'd have more of a chance if he'd learn to read, write and score guitar music and become a studio musician. The group Toto are all studio musicians.
Anyway, that's my two cents.
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 Vickie
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