I worry about similar things... I think it is human nature. I have a lady on my job that is lazy and tries to get everyone to do her work for her. I am so frustrated with her, I compensate by being cruel behind her back with a friend. (I know... not the nicest thing to do.) I feel guilty for being cruel and worry that my health issues are "payback" since I am not a nice person. Logically, I know I am not terrible. I am a good wife and mother, have a job where I help needy children, but my one terrible downfall is I am a gossip and talk about people that do not do their job.
Hang in there and don't blame yourself. I understand where you are coming from. It is always comforting to find that others have the same guilty feelings/problems that I do.... it makes me feel more normal, so thanks for posting.