BlueMoon, I agree this is where BPD originates. It's where the "Unthoght Known" develops, where we unconciously decided: others kind, unkind, attentive, neglectful, distracted, loving, absent... And from that our expectations are formed about ourselves and others.

Your childhood relationship sounds so much like mine, it's uncanny. [What is uncanny, anyway... the opposite of 'canny'?!? oh too early for that one..]

I asked T once if, since we internalize our early caregivers, could we also internalize their feelings that resulted in neglect? If we internalize "I don't like/love you" from them, then it becomes part of our psychological makeup, it becomes our own feelings toward ourselves. From outside of us we perceive it as it is used toward us, we internalize it and then use it toward ourselves. "You are no good, unworthy, unlovable..." becomes "I am no good, unworthy, unlovable".

I think with time we can learn how to fill much of that empty void.
I suspect it will not completely go away, but I'm willing to lose that bet.