OK -

There is an elderly guy living in our neighbourhood, call him M. Anyway, he's known for being difficult and I try to be careful around him, but last week I got caught up.

He always shouts loudly to me from across the street, and one time he shouted to me while I was cycling. I looked round, saw it was him, and fell off my bike on the kerb, injuring my wrist, which still hurts a bit even now.

The next time was when I gave him a lift home in my car and he was winding me up so much that I drove fast to get rid of him and was caught on a speed camera. I'm still waiting to go to court. He said he would come to court with me, but I'm not having it.

Anyway, I still hadn't learned my lesson!

This week I bumped into him again. He was taking some eggs back to the shop because he said the yolks were too pale (I'm not making this up) and he wanted to change them. I pointed out that you don't know what colour the yolks are going to be until you have cracked the eggs, and this seemed to upset him.

Anyway, I said I would go for a walk with him. That was last Wednesday and I still haven't got over it. It was a nightmare.

He drove to some beauty spot he knew. At one point he stopped the car in the middle of a narrow road and went off to ask directions. He left me in the passenger seat, with the driver's door open. What if a car came along? Finally he came back and we got to the place. He took me through a short cut he knew which turned out to be a private garden and we were chased by dogs (really - I'm not making this up).

All this time we were having a 'conflicty' sort of conversation, and I was having to stick up for myself. He is a retired schoolmaster and he was playing mind games with me. At one point he spoke to me in French and then pretended to be surprised that I didn't understand him. He wouldn't tell me what he had said.

I was really struggling. Suddenly the penny dropped and I knew who he was like. He was like my abusive father, exactly like him. I had walked into the classic trigger situation. He was chaotic in his own mind, narrow in his views, and a taunter and tormentor.

No wonder, he is always alone, and people keep away from him, just like my own father.

For the last few days I have had a kind of hangover, and a feeling as if a great weight has been leaning on me.

I want some advice. If I see this guy again in our small neighbourhood, how can I avoid being over friendly towards him? I know I am doing it out of fear. I know that, and I hate it about myself.

Thoughfully, M