Two years ago, my now girlfriend was raped by two childhood friends. Her parents had just recently divorced and she was moving from her childhood home into another community. She was at a party, drinking, when she became extremely upset and decided to leave. Two of her "friends" took her back to one of their homes and began talking with her about everything. Soon after, she was drugged and raped. She woke up the next morning completely nude and bleeding from her vagina.

We've been together for 6 months now, and she's expressed to me the problems that she used to have with everything, from the self hatred and blame to her battle with anorexia. There have been very minimal, if any, effects on our relationship. Just recently, however, she told me of the only two details that she remembers (in explicit detail). We've been intimate for awhile and our sex life has been amazing, but these details are just tearing me apart. This past weekend, we started to have sex, but I couldn't perform because of the thoughts going through my head about everything. In my head, I just kept imagining what they were doing to her the entire night. I felt completely powerless and broken and I just wanted to hold her.

I told her today that it's really been bothering me and she seemed understanding. Basically, the abuse that she endured is consuming my every sexual thought, so everytime I think of sex with her, I'm relating it to the image of two guys raping her. It's horrible. The last thing I want to do is make her feel worse, though. All I want to do is hold her and love her, but if I do that, I'm afraid she's only going to feel worse about everything. Am I wrong for feeling this way? Will it change? What can I do?