My Support Forums - View Single Post - what do you do with an inner child who is basically an abuser?

Oct 12, 2009, 02:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sunrise

Maybe she is acting like this because of your rejecting feelings toward her. It's hard to feel unwanted and like your "other self" wants to get rid of you.

trying to understand--She puts pressure on you to be perfect, because if you are perfect you will not be shamed?

i think she is harassing me because of her wanting me to be perfect so i don't get shamed if i'm not perfect. i guess i have to be a bit more accepting of her though.

Quote:

I would suggest talking to her in a welcoming and grateful way. Thank her for having protected you all these years. Tell her that now you don't need quite so much protection, that you are getting better and taking more risks. But also tell her you still need her, but to help with other things. And suggest something to her that you could really use help on. She sounds like a strong-minded part of you--give her a tough task. I think "protector" ego states really like to feel needed. If your need for their protection is ended, it can be scary to them. Will they cease to exist if their protection is no longer needed? Scary prospect. Give her something to do that is helpful to you.

thanks sunny! this is so very helpful. it sounds as if you have really learned how to do this sort of work.