   Welcome to PC, la333! I like what both Berries and turquoisesea said. I don't know much about OCD, but what Berries said made me think - can you substitute one set of thoughts for another? If you can't stop the obsessive thoughts because of the OCD, can you redirect the obsession? Instead of obsessing about him and how he feels about you, can you focus instead on what kind of people you want in your life? Why should you feel like you are to blame? Why should you feel pathetic and humiliated? Sounds to me like he is very rude and shallow to have treated you that way - I would be more likely to view him as not living up to MY standards - not being qualified to join MY club. By all means, be gentle with yourself - it's bad enough to have someone treat you badly without you helping them by berating yourself, too.
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"I walked a mile with Pleasure; she chattered all the way, But left me none the wiser for all she had to say. I walked a mile with Sorrow and ne'er a word said she; But oh, the things I learned from her when Sorrow walked with me!"
(Robert Browning Hamilton; "Along The Road")
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