I give up. Bare with me as I get to my point.

I have been having..."girl problems" for 7 weeks now (well, the same girl problem, just escalating).

I've never been to the ob/gyn because it scares me. (Please don't lecture me...I know.) So I have carefully avoided going there since I was 18 (I am 24 now). But hubby kept pushing me to go...and he's right (shhhh don't tell him).

So June 20th I went to Planned Parenthood. (Yay me!) They wouldn't do an exam since I was still...having "girl problems" . But they handed me three months worth of birth control pills and said, "See! I bet you didn't think you could get birth control without an exam!" Yeah. Yipee.

So I faithfully started taking my medication. It made me sick. Like clockwork, 30 minutes after I take it, I run for the bathroom. Then I spend the rest of the night feeling queasy. So after 2.5 weeks, I stopped them. The problem hadn't gone away (in fact it had gotten worse) and I was sick of being sick. The night before the 4th of July, I let my mom and hubby talk me into going to the ER.

After taking blood and a drive-by pelvic (that's what I've decided to call the minute - and I timed it - that the doc was in the room) they told me to get an appointment with an ob/gyn in 4 days because there was nothing they could do. They didn't see a problem.

I called the ob/gyn and they said their first available appointment was July 18 (2 weeks later!), After some wheedling, they agreed to *try* and squeeze me in on the 14th.

Then Friday it got worse. I put up with it for 2 days, hoping and praying it would go away. So last night I decided I should follow my last ER's post-care instructions of coming back if it got worse.

We finally left after 2 hours without being seen because I was sick of the nurse's looks and the whispers. Add to that the fact that the triage nurse told me that I had to go to my Thursday appointment. DUH! (she ASSUMED I had been canceling them). THEN she proceeded to tell me that I need to get seen because they couldn't (and I quote) "keep putting out fires". I'M TRYING!

What am I doing wrong?!

It takes so much for me to ask for help and now, when I do...I am reprimanded, chastised, and talked to condescendingly.

I just want this fixed. I'm scared. I'm worried and I'm sick and tired of it all.

I called the doctor's office to see if I could possibly be squeezed in sooner and they said Thursday was the soonest. But if things got worse to go back to the ER.... Yeah. Right.

When I feel better I hope I can convince myself to write a strongly worded letter to the hospital.

I think tonight I will try starting the pills again. Sick is better than this.

I am off to spend the afternoon in the bathtub....it's about the only thing I can do right now. Forward my mail to the bathtub. Thanks for reading...I know it took me forever to get to the point. Take care.