My T is comortable with our silences. I think I am OK with them too. If there is a silence, I think it tells my T I am thinking. He doesn't usually interrupt them. He has told me before that during our silences, he "listens" to himself and what comes up for him. This is important--what comes up for him and what he feels regarding me. Maybe I am projecting this. It is countertransference but he says this is very valuble. (It is not countertransference in the negative sense that people here sometimes refer to it.) What he experiences in our silences could also be similar to what comes up for other people when they are with me, and so T gets to experience more how other people relate to me outside of therapy. This can tell him a lot. And if he chooses, he can share that with me and I can learn a lot from it too.

So I feel comfortable with the silences. I know that T is learning something even though we aren't speaking. And I can listen to myself too, and learn something.