It isn't that i don't want to change my attitude. I have been trying for awhile to change it. Everytime i manage to have a positive attitude and feel good about myself, it only seems to last like a day or two. Then, I start feeling depressed again when i am around somebody that's negative or something negative happens. I am now able to recognize my triggers a lot more than i used to, but i can't always snap out of feeling negative right away and that is very frustrating. For some reason, i cancel plans at the last minute pretty often. I find negative reasons to justify that going out will be a bad idea. My bf has been alright with accepting it, but i am sure he sometimes feels frustrated by that. We are low on money now anyway so we can't go out and have fun much. I don't drive and neither does my bf which contributes to a lot of my depression. When we go out, we have to spend extra money and it takes more time since we need to rely on public transportation. We haven't learned to drive yet cuz we can't afford a car or insurance right now.

My bf has been slacking on looking for jobs which is most likely why he hasn't found one yet. He has been here for a month and has only applied for 2 jobs so far. I don't want to push him, but it is really making me feel frustrated. I was also under the impression he applied for at least 5-6 jobs because he mentioned a lot of jobs the other evening when i asked him how he was doing so far with the job hunt. This indirect communication is making things a lot harder. I am trying to help him so I email him all these jobs he can apply for online. He doesn't say anything about them though to show he appreciates what i'm doing. Actively looking for jobs all the time for him has stressed me out more lately too. I don't think i have said anything that should make him feel worse lately, but i can tell he's been down in the dumps the way he just sorta mopes around and hardly says anything to me. I understand how he feels, but that makes it harder for me to be stronger for the both of us. He doesn't have much experience at all. For years, he was working on a ranch in Wyoming before he moved with me and he doesn't have a college degree yet. I know he won't have as many jobs to choose from so he really can't be too picky here. Still, i believe if he tries hard enough he will find a job. He just needs to be more motivated and optimistic about his search.

Thanks again for the input.