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lynn09 · Oct 12, 2009, 04:13 PM

Hello, (((iskm12))). If you don't mind me asking, when were you diagnosed with DID (MPD)? Are you currently seeing a therapist? Your disorder is not easily understood by most people - they just can't relate, so friendships are going to be difficult for you to establish and maintain - but not impossible (by the way, true friends are rare even among the so-called "normal"). You do not deserve or have to be alone in this, iskm12. From what I understand, psychotherapy is very beneficial for people with DID - are there any DID support groups in your area? Of course, all of us here at PC will gladly provide you with whatever support you need and we can provide. But, you really do need to connect with people in your real life to provide more immediate support, guidance, and consolation. As for the remark someone made to you about people like you just evolving and never changing - we all evolve - evolving IS changing. It takes great courage to honestly look at the dark side within yourself and acknowledge what you find there - but this is the very same thing that we all must do in order to be able to seek the appropriate help we need - and believe me, EVERYONE has some darkness in them. If we do not know ourselves, how can we expect others to know us and understand what help we need?

I hope that you are receiving appropriate psychological counseling and guidance - a therapist can be a great resource of support and information, and they are trained to help you understand your DID and develop skills to manage it. If you are not receiving treatment, then please do so as soon as possible - you might even want to show your therapist your journals to help them better understand what you are experiencing - it is not necessary or prudent for you to deal with this all by yourself. Please keep posting and let us know how you are doing.