I understand, too. This is probably my major fear. I feel that I have not been good enough in life to have a peaceful death. I hope that I am wrong. I know that the above responders are right that it is best to distract onself. Since we do not know what death brings, please decide that you will not take your own life. I feel that we are here for some purpose, even if it is only to learn through our own pain. If we are in a position to help others that is probably a plus, but if energy is gone, like my own, then learning is reason enough to live through the trials of this world. billieJ