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I can never be sue if they are "helping me because it is "their job" and they are being paid to do it or if they are genuinely interested in my well-being (think about it).

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What does it matter WHY they do what they do as long as they make you better?? Most doctors, psychiatrists, psychologists, etc are in the profession BECAUSE they want to help people. Some are people persons and some aren't, some have good bedside manners and some don't, some are on a good day and some are on a bad day. Why do you let that even enter your head if what you really want is to get better?

This rabies thing? It's an obcession brought on by your anxiety. I was like that until I decided to get it together and seek some professional help.

All of your "yeah, buts" are cop-outs that your anxiety puts out there. Somehow, you're getting a pay-off for all of this and it's easier to stay where you are than to get up out of your comfort zone.

Like someone else said, at the end of the day, it's YOU who can make yourself better, it's YOU that has the final say. And yes, maybe subconsciously, you're looking for someone to come along and "cure" you because, again, you don't want to move out of what's familiar to you.