Hi Everyone...
I am a newbie here... I should have introduced myself first but i was really desperate to spill my thoughts... I have been suffering from moderate depression since i was a kid..I have tried to reach out to people but i am never given any value... Everyone snubs me...I dont know what to do to have a friend in my life... I had an absolutely devastating high school life where everyone humiliated me even the teachers... and even though i think i should be proud that i had supreme resilience to get through it and also get into Professional education i could never recover from the shock... Even though social relationships were a nightmare i thought i should reach out to people and then they might show interest... but when i went to college no one talked to me beyond work... i tried to make conversation and was disgusted with the response... people would come to my home after an entire year to borrow notes and then not even care to say 'hi' for another whole year evne after i invited them to restaurants, talked about music and t.v shows and stuff... i did a full year internship at an HR consultancy afterwards and i put in extra effort to get a full time job but i had to pack up after the year ended cos the environment was cold and unfriendly... I met a lady there who was a few years older and she was a bit communicative at first cos of which i decided to really reach out and hope that she would be friendly but it's been more than six months since she and i left that place and she has not said hi to me even once... I feel completely depressed with life and the only reason i carry on is that suicide and running away are not options i have... I have to live with the idea that 'life is a roller-coaster and i just gotta ride it'... i would collapse someday maybe and then this nightmare would come to an end... Life is as horrifying as death!