i can relate to a lot of whats been said, im currently going to group run by my comunity mental health time thats specifically for self esteem. lot of what they say is that our self esteem is developed based on childhoold experinces and thats where all our beliefs about ourselves is formed. then a kinda cycle develops which keeps re-enforcing the low self esteem like the negative thinking etc.

im only half way through the course and omg its hard going. they keep telling us that its taken years for our self esteem to become what it is and that it wont change over night. sorry for rambling might be more useful once ive finished the course (though not holding out much hop)