Sannah: Thank you for the link to the article on separation anxiety. I definitely had problems separating from my Mom, or maybe it was that she had problems separating from me. She was a very anxious person--a worrier, and overprotective of me. So, maybe I felt that I didn't want to upset her. I don't remember feeling that way, but my daughter keeps things to herself too, as I am also a worrier, so it's likely I passed on that characteristic. There were other secrets I kept from her, things I worried about that, had I asked, I would have gotten relief instead of worrying about for years, in one case.

So, it makes sense that once I got into therapy and opened up, I wanted to spill out everything and get the comfort and attention I maybe didn't get from my Mom. Seeing my T give that comfort to her family in RL, and not to me is simply transference. Put that way, it sounds logical, doesn't it?

Brightheart: What you wrote makes sense, though I think it's that my mother was too anxious to comfort me. I'm not so good at comforting my kids either. But the feeling of being left out had a lot to do with peers more than my family. You know how cruel kids can be, even if they don't mean it. I felt "invisible" sometimes.

I still can't shake the feeling of wanting to talk to my T. I know she cares about me, but I want her to tell it to me. I have to write down what to say or I will be disappointed because she won't "get it." She'll just say she's sorry and she hopes it didn't ruin my whole week-end. I need more than that from her. I've got to get it just right before I call. I have to write it out, and read it to her answering machine or to her. Otherwise it will turn into small talk. That's happened the last few phone calls and I've had to accept it.