I'm sure your brain is top notch Kaika! I too really struggle if my memories are real.
Back and forth, back and forth.
true not true, true not true
sometimes I feel like my head will explode from not knowing what is really true but we can't go back and find out. I don't think I would want to anyway. On my "good days" I can realize there is a reason I remember what I do and accept that to someone in my system they are absolutely true and very important. For me this brings some peace.

I wanted to validate your feelings.