Ive worked a few 4th and 5th steps because of relapses. My sponsor always had me start over. The first 4th and 5th was the hardest. It took me forever it seems. The fifth I dreaded so much but when complete, the relief was great. There are no words that can truely discribe the feeling afterwords. Each one braught relief. The first one I did hold back on one thing but let it out in the second one.
The only thing I found hurtful was being told that even with the sexual abuse we need to find our part in it. For years I tried and I tried to see it but could not. At the same time I was going to counseling and they are telling me the sexual abuse was not my fault. Then I get dx'd with DID then I'm now listening to parts of me talking about much more than I ever dreamed and I'm not wanting to believe all the crap and being told find my part in it. Arggggggg!!!!!!!!! After enough counseling with many counselors, T's what have you I am no longer looking for my part in the abuse. I can not believe that anyone could lead anyone to believe that.
The steps are wonderful tools. They helped in many ways to change my life but I pray no one will have to struggel with that. I don't blame those who taught me that but I've seen them today and they may be sober now for many years now but I wouldn't give a plug nickle for it. Oops sorry! going on too much hu?
lrks