Hi Deborah and welcome. I have to say - this is a great site and has a lot of wonderful people all willing to lend an ear to anyone in need. So I think you've come to a great place. I hope you find something here to help you.

As for what is normal - I don't know. I think, that what one may find normal another might not so - maybe we each have our own defination of what is normal.

I have issues with trust. It comes from all the lies my ex heaped upon me. But I try not to hold everyone accountable for her actions. I thought it important to tell you that, because it seems to me your husband wasn't all that honest with you from the begining.

Maybe he just wanted someone to take care of the house, or maybe he just couldn't stand the silence of being alone in the house. I don't know - perhaps it was something else entirely.

I just know, for a person to change so rapidly usually means they have not been honest with who they really are. And that can be a very scarey thing for you, because you have not only yourself to think about, but a daughter. And she is your first concern.

It sounds like he has issues and these issues have now become yours - and your daughters. It worry's me to see you thinking it is you, when it is so clear it is him. I hope he seeks help, but, this is something you may or may not be able to help him on. I just know that unless he is willing to do this for himself - then it will come for naught.

And the thing I am concerned with - unless things change and change for the better - how is this going to effect you and your daughter?

I don't mean to be negative or to try and scare you sweetie - I'm just concerned. Please - whatever you do - do what is right for you.

Your friend Sam

Anyone can say I love you, but actions speak louder than words.