Wow. Silence...I truly don't know what that is. I think I would be petrified of it. That must be...lonely? I know, lonely outside and lonely inside are completely different.

I wish you many tears...not for the sadness they represent, but for the cleansing and healing they bring.

You have no idea how much I wish I could help you.

I do cry now. For years and years I never shed a tear. It was like my badge of courage. Look at me. Look at how tough-brave-strong I am.

But now if I am sad I will cry.

I have trouble with anger. It's hard for me to be mad at the dead and worse to be mad at the living. My anger turns into all my emotions...so I may get scared if I get angry, etc.

I have no trouble with laughter...it has saved my life. My husband and I laugh all the time. We are a sitcom waiting to happen.

Feeling love...incoming...is difficult for me. I feel love for others...I just have trouble letting it in.

I "intellectually" know people love me. I know in my head...not my heart.

That's why feeling nurtured by you yesterday was so surreal for me. I walked around thinking...hey, I think I felt that.