I know that I am going to be awfully needy and emotional this entire week. I already feel physically and emotionally ill. I am fighting the urge to over medicate. I am using my DBT skills to stop myself from over medicating.

My whole future rides on getting into this program. If I don't get into this program I will have no future. I will fall into a deep depression that could be very negative to put it mildly.

I sent the man I spoke with today a polite and friendly e-mail reminding him of my committment and determination to excell in this program.

I also e-mailed my counselor at college to let her know what is going on as far as the application process.

I simply cannot relax or distract myself from worrying about how my whole life is going to unfold. I have to wait a week to learn my fate. Again, I have to fight very hard not to over medicate myself so that I am numb and don't feel anything.