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Oct 13, 2009, 11:00 PM
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Member Since: Aug 2009
Location: Fringes of the bell-shaped curve
Posts: 779
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   "Needy." I'll say it again, (((Zen))) - I don't know of ANYONE on this site who isn't in need of comfort and support!! Not to worry - just post, post, post - every little anxiety, every negative thought - get it out there so we can smush it flat!!
Good job sending that guy and your counselor e-mails - things like that stick in people's memories and so do you. Sounds like you made a good impression on that guy - if nothing else, he may be able to advocate a bit for you if necessary.
Even if for some improbable reason you don't get accepted, your future is NOT doomed. Since you know that your mind is going to try to force you to play the "what if" game (and only come up with the very worst scenarios it can imagine), why not make a pre-emptive strike. What if the worst happens (you don't get accepted)? Start a list of other things you could do with your life just in case - other avenues of study - other careers that you might be interested in pursuing. Sometimes the best way to combat your fears is to know your options - know that there are always possibilities available - make a Plan B, Plan C, Plan D.
Think ahead and develop contingency plans for everything that creates anxiety for you - if you can't do this, do that - if you can't go here, go there. That way you don't have all of your "eggs in one basket." You may find that this will help you shut that anxiety beast up and shove it back in its cave where it belongs instead of stomping around in your life.
In addition to turning yourself into a "Planner," pull out the stops on the healthy diet, good rest, exercise, and relaxation techniques. Turn your home into "Zen's Spa" - scented mineral salt baths, make up an essential oil and salt scrub to exfoliate your entire body, lotion yourself down, do nails and hair, whiten your teeth - go through your wardrobe and do any mending, ironing or steaming, invent different pairings of clothing to get new outfits, polish your shoes, clean your purses inside and out - pamper, pamper, pamper, and rest. This will help you feel and be prepared for anything.
Give it a shot, (((Zen))) - you know you can do this and we'll help. 
__________________
"I walked a mile with Pleasure; she chattered all the way, But left me none the wiser for all she had to say. I walked a mile with Sorrow and ne'er a word said she; But oh, the things I learned from her when Sorrow walked with me!"
(Robert Browning Hamilton; "Along The Road")
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