|
I was guilty of doing this in my previous marriage. I didn't have an actual physical affair. But it was exactly as if I had. My husband was completely oblivious to anything at all being wrong with our marriage. Well, he knew there were things that weren't right but he didn't have the courage to talk about them and as long as I was happy having the emotional affair, I wasn't going to make the first move.
He had an explosive temper. He was a recovering alcoholic. Once, when he found evidence on my computer of conversations I had with my "friend", he became very beligerent. I had not seen this side of him and I knew that he had been physically abusive before and had witnessed his father beating his mother throughout childhood. I suggested he move out and he complied because he was afraid for his actions and my safety.
This led to our divorce. We never had a chance. We had a three year old son. We never went to counseling or addressed our issues. This was a mistake.
My life has turned out OK. But I will say honestly, we did not deal fairly with the issues and did not handle things the way we should have. The man I was involved with online went away. I cut it off with him.
I agree that you should get another therapist and your wife needs to admit this affair, even though it's only emotional.
__________________
 Vickie
|