Vickie makes great points here.

If this is off topic, please call me on it. Unfortunately, a lot of "these type" of things happen when there is lack of communication. D and I are working through A LOT of issues. I am not actively weighing whether to stay together or not, just taking on the issues as we go through them in therapy.

There are a few things we communicate well about. (Unfortunately, too many things we are both too defensive to talk about). One is my relationship with my "BFF" (often referred to BF for Best Friend, not Boy Friend! LOL) When D and I got together, his best friend for over 15 years was a woman with whom he had an intimate relationship with as a teen. I was threatened, but got over it, knowing who he was coming home to. (BTW, that relationship has ended, but that is another story all together!) About a year ago, I connected with a co-worker of mine who is a single dad of a son a year older than my youngest daughter. From an outside perspective (this is the reason I brought this up) our friendship may appear like an emotional affair. EXCEPT, D and I have talked about it at length, everyone knows the boundries (my family, INCLUDING D, comes first) and everyone is comfortable with it. In fact, it was D who insisted I plan on going to my BF's place every Friday after work. Not only is it an escape for me, but the BF's son has issues and needs the regularity. D even said he was fine with me acting as a "Mother Figure" to "the boy", as long as my family comes first, there is room for them and my family is willing to share me on Friday nights. D and the BF have met, hung out, like eachother and D adores his son.

I guess the point is an "emotional affair" is not quite as easy to pin down as a physical or sexual one. Like I said, at first glance it would appear I am having an emotional affair with my BF. The difference is that I am not engaging in any inappropriate behavior with him and D is totally fine with it. If D was not, I wouldn't spend the time I do with the BF, his "girlfriend" (again, different story) and his son. It really comes down to what the two people in the marriage are comfortable with...