Well, I went to T today. I hardly talked to her, maybe like 15 min. or so. She told me she talked to the 8 year-old named Olivia, and the 3 year-old. I have really no clue what is going on. She told me that they said they are very scared of me. She wants me to really listen to the positive things that all of them say to me. It's all so new to me, I don't know how to explain how am feeling right now, except confused.
My dad is going with me to T next week. He has gone one other time, but don't remember that. I am scared that things are going to be said that I don't want to be said. She said that we are just going to open the communication lines between the two of us. I already talk to my dad, mostly when I get so desperate, but at least I do talk to him right?
Things have begun to quiet a little in the head. I hope that it stays that way. I am going to leave a journal out though.
Oh and when I went in to T's office she said she had me sign the progress report and that my signature was that of a little girl. WOW that scares the "Beep" out of me. My T said she could tell I wasn't there because it took me so long to sign it and then when she looked at the name, she said it was not the same as my usual signature. I feel like a weirdo, and a creep.
She keeps telling me that she has worked with this before, and that she is there to help me and keep "us" safe. She told me that some of the other's have called her this past week...WHAT???? I was so anxious about that because I don't know what they say to her. She told me that one called to say that I was back on the pills, and threw away the unsafe things. Then one called because was so scared of me and what had been doing. I don't know what all this means? What is wrong with me? I want this all to go away...how can I do that???
Thanks everyone for listening..
Hugs,
Jen