This morning I was supposed to have an 8 am meeting with my T.
It was the ONLY slot available this week, she refused to work with me because I didn't even know my work schedule yet but she said that's all she could do! I really hard stuff I wanted to start talking to her about so I agreed on the early time, as even in the next weeks the ONLY thing she'd have available is 8am.

I had an alarm set for 7:15 which I slept through and jolted awake at 8 - I knew her rules were that I couldn't show up any more than 15 minutes late so I tried walking out the door asap but knew I was going to be too late for her. I started crying and freaking out and tried calling her, but she wouldn't pick up I finally got in contact at 8:40 or so. By this time I was FREAKING out for fear of the insurance not covering anything and just generally REALLY upset with myself for failing at getting there.

All she would talk about was the payment for the appointment, I was bawling for the first time to her ever and that's all she would say, and if I wanted to make an appointment. This was during what would have been my session time, and when I expressed that I didn't know what to do about the rest of the day because I was so upset she refused to go into and said we needed to hang up *still during the time I'm paying for WITHOUT INSURANCE because I wasn't there*. There was NOTHING in her words, tone of voice, or anything else to say she cared.

I feel betrayed, and I JUST started trusting her as of last week.

I don't want any more appointments with her - she has totally lost my trust and I can't understand how she could do that.

I don't know what to do now, I guess try to find another T but how can I trust one after this? With this T, I have found NOTHING she has helped me with. PC has helped tons more - the only thing I noticed with the sessions was that I was starting to open up to her last week, but I guess that was a huge mistake.


I feel like a failure, I've got a big bill to pay to her, and now I"ve gotta find another T ASAP because I need a letter explaining my mental health to get back into school within the next month.

I needed to vent this, any suggestions/ideas/ just plain hugs are welcome, I'm just very upset and confused and betrayed.