Excellent way of putting it... That's exactly how I explained it in my Step Four work. When it askes, "Am I afraid of looking at my part in the situation that caused my resentments? Why?", I put no, I'm not afraid of looking at my part... That as a child, I had no control over the abuse I endured but I did take responsibility for the abuse I took when I was high and drunk and kept blacking out during it. Why did I take responsibility for it? Because I put myself in the situation. I didn't ask for the abuse, but by putting myself there for it to happen, it was partly my fault.