I had therapy tonight, and shortly into the session, I told my T that I had been thinking about something that she said last week, and that it had been bothering.

So she asked what, and I told her it was the comment she made about respecting my decision to not get better and terminating sessions.

I told her it scared me when she said that, and confused me, and made me feel like if I wasn't living up to her expectations she would just get rid of me, and that I was now afraid to be honest with her about some things.

She thanked me for telling her,
and she said it took a lot of courage to bring it up!
She took a while to 'explain' what she meant......which is that often her eating disorder clients tell her they feel like she is controlling them, and their "internal brat" comes out, and it becomes a battle of wills, where the clients dig in their heels and spiral downward because they are trying to maintain control over themselves.

This made a lot of sense to me...that she didn't want me to feel like she was controlling me.

I asked her if I thought, even in the cases where a client really doesn't want to give up the eating disorder (or alcohol, or drugs, etc), if it wasn't worthwhile to continue on in therapy to work on other issues until the willingness is there......she seemed to think about this for a while, but now that I think of it, she didn't really answer this point specifically.

But otherwise, she made me feel better about the whole thing.

And she even asked me how she could have worded it differently so that it didn't come off so threatening. She thanked me for bringing it up to her a couple of times, and said she is not perfect and that she appreciates when clients are honest with her about stuff like that because it helps her to be a better clinician.

So, I'm really happy I was able to bring it up, and I am satisfied with how it resolved.
And I have to thank everyone for your comments, and support and encouragement. If it weren't for everyone here, there is NO WAY I would have had enough courage.